Carson arrived at work on Monday morning feeling much better. The weekend gave him a chance to recover from his first week at Omnivan, enabling him to face the madness of his new job with renewed vigor.
As soon as he logged onto the computer he checked his email. To his surprise, there was a reply from ‘scmsilo', the mystery email account from the riddle. Is it possible? Have I found Martin Erbauer?
He opened the email and read the following message:
Congratulations, my computer friend
You have managed to overcome the trend
One could only speculate as to why
None until now even bothered to try
But before you get keys to the castle
You must tolerate a bit more hassle
Prove your dedication and desire
To get past the stigma of ‘new hire'
Go to the mess, the one they call Alpha
Follow the line, and locate the Buddha
Order the bovine, a question, he'll ask
An overcooked answer earns your next task
Carson put his face in his hands and breathed in deeply. Great, he thought. Another freakin' riddle. Why couldn't the note just say ‘Hi, Carson, yeah, I'm Martin. Here's my number. Call anytime!' He peaked through his fingers and read the note again. How does he know I'm a new hire?
Carson heard a chair creak behind him and turned around. Jason sat in the corner of the cube holding a gym bag.
"My, my, what a surprise," said Carson as he checked his watch. "What brings you in at this insane hour?"
Jason motioned downwards with his hand. "Keep it down," he whispered. "I'm still on full Chandra alert." He leaned over and removed a shoe. "Listen, I need a favor."
"Forget it, Jason. Last Friday was weird enough. No more favors."
Jason removed his other shoe and stared at Carson with a pleading look in his eyes. "C'mon, man, at least hear me out."
"What part of the word ‘no' don't you understand?"
Jason wheeled his chair over to Carson and leaned his elbow on the desk. "Look," he said. "I need someone to plant the tracking device on Chandra."
"Forget it! Why can't you do it?"
"Of course I can't do it. I'm trying to avoid her; that's the whole point of this thing! Hello? McFly?" Jason made a fist and knocked on his head.
"Why can't Al do it?"
"That would never work; she would suspect something right away. It has to be someone she has no reason to mistrust. You're the perfect candidate! You haven't done anything yet to piss her off," said Jason, gripping Carson's shoulder.
Carson held up his hands in protest. "Sorry, Jason, I'm going to end my involvement in your little scheme."
"Listen, you told me the other day you thought she was cute, right?"
"Yeah... she's obviously a babe."
Jason nodded his head in agreement. "Here's what I'm thinking: You ask her out to lunch, get to know her a little bit, and when she's not looking, you slip the device in her food and she swallows it. It's perfect! That way, you can also find out what kind of diet she has."
"Forget it! I can barely talk to gorgeous women, let alone slip something into their food. What if she catches me?" he asked, removing Jason's hand from his shoulder.
"She's not going to catch you! Look, if you have trouble talking to pretty girls, this is the perfect chance to practice. You never know, maybe you'll get a date out of it," he said with a wink.
"Chandra's not my type," said Carson, looking away. "I'd feel like a Chihuahua on a date with Cat Woman."
"Well, that may be true, so use it to your advantage. You could practice talking to an intimidating female and not worry about whether or not you're gonna score," he said, grabbing Carson's shoulder once again and shaking it. "C'mon, buddy!"
Carson considered this for a moment. He hadn't been on a date in a long time and thought he could use the practice. "If I do this, you and Al have to help me out. You have to provide some kind of distraction so I don't get caught messing with her food."
"Okay; I'm sure Al can figure something out."
"No, you and Al," emphasized Carson. "You have to be involved too. You can't leave all the dirty work up to everyone else."
Jason rolled his eyes. "Okay, Al and I will create a distraction, and you will get her to swallow the capsule. Agreed?" Jason stuck out his hand.
Carson looked at the outstretched hand and hesitated, then slowly extended his own hand. Jason grabbed it and shook, squeezing Carson's hand tightly with gratitude. "'Atta, boy!" he said.
Jason wheeled his chair back over to the gym bag and took out some white overalls. "Okay, see if you can get her to go out to lunch as soon as possible, hopefully today. It would be easiest to just have lunch here at the plant." He slipped his legs into the overalls and put his shoes back on.
"How am I supposed to get her to go to lunch with me?"
"You're new here, right? Tell her you want to know more about Omnivan. Ask her questions about her job. You know; just get her to talk about herself, and ask if you can continue the conversation over lunch." Jason stood up and slipped his arms into the sleeves.
Carson shook his head. "I don't know, man. I'm just no good when it comes to chicks. I tend to fall apart."
"Relax, you'll do just fine. Just focus on the outcome, and don't take no for an answer," said Jason, as he zipped up the overalls. "Show some confidence in yourself."
"What are you doing in that getup? You look like you're going to work with Homer at the nuclear plant."
Jason took a blue construction helmet and a clipboard out of the duffle bag. "I'm just exploring my options. I'll be back before lunch. Good luck, soldier." He winked at Carson and tiptoed to the entrance to the cube. He poked his head through the opening, looked up and down the aisle, then rolled into the hallway like a paratrooper jumping out of a plane.
Carson sat there and wondered how he had let himself get involved. What was I thinking? Just the idea of talking to Chandra made his heart kick into high gear and his stomach turn over. He decided to get it over with quickly, like yanking a Band-Aid off a sore in one quick motion. Why suffer the whole morning thinking about it? he asked himself as he headed off to find Chandra.
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