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“Hey Lucky – you’re alive!” Carson turned to see Jason enter the cube. He was carrying a white hard hat and a clip board.
“Hi Jason - where have you been?”
“Oh, I’ve been around – taking care of business. I see you had no trouble logging on,” he motioned to his PC.
“Yeah – I can get off now if you like.”
“No, no – it looks like you’re doing just fine,” said Jason. “Besides,” he looked at his watch. “It’s time for lunch! Have you seen the cafeteria yet?”
“No, not yet. I brought my lunch.” Carson looked over at a wrinkled, brown paper lunch bag. It had a large oil stain on it.
Jason made a face. “That’s OK - you can buy a soda or something. Hey Al!”
“The prodigal son returns,” Al’s voice replied from over the wall.
“Let’s go get some food poisoning!”
“I told Tyler we’d meet him over in Cafeteria C,” said Al.
“That’s somewhat of a hike,” Jason told Carson, “but as the disgusting as the food is over there, it sure beats the slop in the cafeteria over here.”
Al met up with them and the threesome headed through a series of winding cube hallways, through a door and down several flights of stairs. At the bottom of the stairs was a heavy metal door with a wire mess window. When they opened it they were blasted with warm, humid air that carried a heavy smell of metal and melted plastic.
Carson gasped as walked through the door. Huge machines packed the center of the three story room. Men in white and yellow hard hats climbed along catwalks around vents of steam. He could hear the sound of hydraulics whining and jumped when a loud whistle pierced the air.
“Hey Lucky! C’mon!” Jason sounded far away, but he and Al were only a few feet from him. “What’s wrong?” he shouted over the din. “Haven’t you seen the manufacturing floor?”
“No!”
“Just stay behind the line,” Jason moved his arm up and down above a bright yellow line painted on the floor.
They followed the pathway all the way to the end of the building and walked through another door. The next room was a sharp contrast. It too contained large machines, but they lay silent and abandoned. Only the row of ceiling lights above the yellow lined path was lit, casting the rest of the room in eerie shadows. Carson’s ears rang as the noise behind them diminished.
“I tried an interesting social experiment today,” stated Jason.
“What’s that?”
“I heard about this guy who worked in this huge company, and his boss didn’t pay much attention to what he was doing, so all he did the whole day was walk around the facility. As long as he looked like he knew what he was doing, no one ever questioned him.”
“I can see where this is going.”
“So, I thought I’d try it out. I put on a hard hat and carried a clipboard and just walked around. If any one looked at me suspiciously, I just stared back at them and pretended to make some notes on my clipboard. It worked! No one ever asked me a thing. I think it really freaked people out, too. They probably thought I was some kind of spy from the main office.”
“That’s brilliant, Jason. You’ve turned wasting work time into a new art form.”
They continued along the lighted path for what seemed like acres. Occasionally a forklift or a small propane powered cart would motor past them, but for the most part, the buildings were void of people and activity. Some of the large rooms were completely stripped of all equipment. He felt like he was in some cheesy science fiction movie and they were the last people on earth.
Carson was relieved when they finally entered a brightly lit area where the large machines were active again. These machines were quieter and had rows of colored lights. The workers wore white overalls and Carson felt like he had just entered Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. He could have sworn he saw an Oompa-Loompa dancing among them.
Al opened a gray door along the wall that looked just like the one they had used before and they entered another stairwell. After a maze of twists and turns, the hallway widened and they arrived at the cafeteria. Carson bought a bottle of soda from a vending machine and met the others as they came from the cashier. A stocky man with a receding hairline was with them.
“Carson, this is Tyler,” said Al. “Carson is our new SCM guy. He comes from the same agency as Jason.”
“Hi.”
“Pleased to meet you,” said Tyler as they sat at the table. “You were wise to bring your own lunch. The stuff here will make you fat then kill you.” He patted his stomach which jiggled in response.
“Doesn’t Ominvan make those military field meals?” asked Jason. “What are they called?”
“MRE’s,” said Tyler, “Meals Ready to Eat - although they’d probably be more effective if they distributed them to the enemy.”
“I think that’s just a rumor, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they bought up surplus and served it up here.” Al poked at his plate.
“No, I think it’s true,” said Tyler, “I think they make them. Hey, did you hear about that guy on the Spinnaker project that got laid off?”
“Yeah, I heard something about that. He was caught viewing porn on the web or something, wasn’t he?”
“No,” said Tyler, “I heard he got nailed by the HR alarm.”
“The what?” asked Al.
“The HR alarm – he was telling dirty jokes or something and the HR alarm went off.”
“That’s ridiculous. There’s no HR alarm!"
“It’s true,” said Tyler. “I know this guy over in purchasing, and his buddy told him all about it. It‘s those blue lights you see all over the place – there’s one over there!” he pointed to a blue, glass light fixture hanging on the wall. Everyone at the table turned to look at it.
“That’s some kind of disaster light – it’s not an HR alarm!”
“The disaster alarms are the red lights!” said Tyler.
“The red lights are the fire alarm, stupid.”
“There IS an HR alarm, and don’t call me stupid!” hissed Tyler.
“Yeah, Jason, you might set off the HR alarm!”
“If you violate an HR policy, an alarm goes off, the light flashes, and security comes to get you,” said Tyler.
“How would they possibly know that someone violated a policy?”
“You know,” said Jason, “I did notice a hole in the ceiling above my desk, and it looks like there could be a small camera lens up there.”
“You see!” said Tyler.
“They let you guys eat in public?” asked a voice from behind them. They turned to see a large man with gray hair, glasses and a thick mustache. He wore a plaid vest that somehow looked normal on him.
“Hey Bill!” they chimed.
“Hey guys, how’s it going?”
They all responded at once.
“And who’s this?” asked Bill, holding his hand out to Carson.
Carson rose and shook his hand. “I’m Carson Lucky.”
“Carson’s the new SCM guy that TEMPR sent over.”
“Excellent!” said Bill. “I was expecting you!”
“We stopped over yesterday but you weren’t at your desk.”
“Well you’ll have to stop over again. I’m very excited to get Configure Fusion off the ground. I was part of the committee that selected it.”
“Great! I’m looking forward to working on it myself!”
“Well guys, I’ve gotta run. You stop by as soon as you can!” he pointed to Carson.
“I will!” Carson sat back down.
“Take care guys!” said Bill.
“Bill’s a good guy,” said Al. The others nodded in agreement. “He’s one of the few decent supervisors around here.”
“You know who he reminds me of?” said Tyler. “That snowman on the Rudolf Christmas special – you know what I’m talking about? He’s like the narrator. Who does his voice?”
“Burl Ives.”
“Yeah, that’s it, Burl Ives! Hey, how does he move around in the snow without legs – you ever think of that? It’s kinda creepy.”
Jason smacked his head. “Dude – it’s an animation. Who cares?”
Carson sat back in his chair and relaxed. He was happy to meet someone who appeared to understand configuration management. He didn’t want to get his hopes up again, but maybe this guy could get him on the right track.
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