| This is going to be a tough article to write and I am sure, for some people, a tough article to read. The issues that I am going to be discussing need to be addressed however. If you find yourself in these paragraphs then congratulate yourself on recognizing some pretty destructive behaviors that are sadly all too common for many people. There have been many times when I have spoken with someone who has been unemployed for a year or longer and his or her self-esteem is usually at an all time low. My inclination is to reassure them and encourage them to put their best foot forward. What is even harder to address is that they probably are doing things that are causing them to miss opportunities. Read on if you'd like to join me in looking at some of these behaviors and sharing your own experiences at improving and becoming a more effective person, even in the face of an extended job search!
Internal vs. External factors
Obviously, we all want to believe that we have been laid off because of the economy or any number of factors that are beyond our control. These are "external" factors and they are certainly easier to take than, for example, admitting that we got fired because we kept making mistakes or we were not as skilled as other employees who were able to keep their jobs (during a downsizing). The truth is usually somewhere in between. Many people who are unemployed for a year or more have to struggle with identifying where they must improve at the very time that they also need to repair and struggle to maintain their self esteem. Getting down on oneself is the worst thing that we can do, but also blaming everyone else can cause us to miss some essential problems that really must to be addressed. The truth is somewhere between these two views. Confronting the demons Many years ago, I was the DP Manager for a small decentralized Computer Services group at a major broadcasting company. I loved the job and my boss marveled that I was doing the work of 5 people. I was promoted and given more responsibility. The senior management above me changed three times in five years. My boss left the company and my new supervisor wanted me to do some things that I felt were immoral. My refusal to follow his direction was taken by him as proof that I was not a team player. Soon I was really burnt out from the stress and fatigue. My job just wasn't fun anymore and soon my performance started to slip. I kept starting projects and I couldn't seem to get them completed. Soon they brought in someone else over me and the proverbial writing was on the wall. Next I was put on warning and well then, fortunately, I found another job and moved on. I often think back about how I didn't like who I had become and how poorly I was performing. (Although, I am glad that I did not follow his unethical direction.) I often remind myself to never make those same mistakes again. I can easily defend myself by blaming it on them and "proving" how bad these guys really were. But I also need to confront my own mistakes or else I am likely to just repeat them again. One of my greatest thrills in life is that I know that many of my former supervisors would not be able to recognize me today, if all they had was a recent performance appraisal to read. I confess that I often find it hard to change when I have been in a job for while (yeah I am stubborn!). But when I change jobs I always try very hard to reinvent myself and avoid the mistakes that I have made in the past. Unemployed for a year or more... When someone has been unemployed for a while, there is a tremendous danger to succumb to depression and loss of self-esteem. If you are one of the lucky people to whom this does not apply then please write to me and share your secrets! But many people do get very discouraged and they are often scared to even try to apply for a job for fear that they will be rejected again. Many search agents don't help here either. There is a tendency for recruiters to focus on the specialists who are the candidates that will win them the best commissions. The agents need to put food on the table too and they will only get paid for finding candidates with very specific skills. That doesn't mean that you can't find a job, it may indicate that you won't get much help from a recruiter. Frankly I have seen some recruiters be less than helpful to a candidate who is having a long unemployment stretch. Remember, these guys are doing a job and they have to earn a living as well. Let the Candidate beware! Casting a wide net I always suggest that candidates consider ALL of their relevant knowledge, skills and abilities. Cast a wide net when you are looking for a job! I recently received some email and postings from agents who told me that I am wrong about this suggestion. Agents only get paid when they find candidates who are strong in specialized skills. That is great and I would always recommend that candidates play to their strengths whenever possible. However, if you have been unemployed for three months or more, it's time to get a little scared (just to get some adrenaline pumping!) and consider all of your knowledge, skills and abilities. You may need to consider other jobs outside of your comfort zone, even positions that are a step down from where you were yesterday. Flexibility is key and developing a "can-do" attitude is essential. If you were the hiring manager wouldn't you want to hire a candidate who is flexible and willing to work? Beware of avoidance behavior... As the job search drags on, candidates often engage in self-destructive behavior or at least less than 100% effective behavior. They loose their willingness to take risks and sense of confidence that is essential at any time. Candidates start to assume that they will not get the job. They read too much into each time that they get a three-interview sequence only to be disappointed again. Confronting these feelings is important. Recognizing the mistakes that we are making is absolutely essential. Taking a job that is ½ step down may be your ticket to being more successful in the future. My dear Father-in-law used to say that half a paycheck is better than none. As the job search drags on consider all of your skills and consider jobs that you may not have considered before. Obviously, go after your strongest skills first. But I meet a lot of unemployed people who are not really job searching 40+ hours a week. There are usually a few extra hours to pursue more job leads. We're just all afraid of rejection and failure. Failure comes in different colors... You may interview for a job that is never filled. You may miss an opportunity because you just remind the hiring manager of his lazy brother-in-law (certainly not my family!). There are factors that you cannot control. But that is not an excuse for standing down from the job search effort. Job searches are hard work and often a real test of one's own determination. In a tough economy with world events, it is more important than ever for all of us to add value and strive for success. Many of you wrote to me when I shared my thoughts of looking for work that I could do back when I was blind. Some of our readers said that this was inspirational. Well we all need to inspire and encourage each other. Seeking support There can never be enough said about the importance of constructive support. Just keep in mind though that not everyone is going to give you advice that will help you. You have to be the judge. With the economy down today, there are many support groups for unemployed executives. Of course my favorite virtual community is online with my colleagues -so start posting! Please share your challenges with me online. If you like you can send me your postings directly. I will modify them a little to hide your identity and share your ideas, challenges and successes with everyone else hanging out in the HR Corner!!
Bob Aiello is a Senior Contributing Editor for Crossroads News and an Associate Director at Bear Stearns & Co. where he is engaged in Software Process Improvement on a large-scale basis. He is also on the Board of Directors for the Organizational Development Network of Greater New York (ODNofGNY) and a member of the Steering Committee of CitySPIN in New York. Mr. Aiello has a Masters in Industrial Psychology and a BS in Computer Science. You can reach Mr. Aiello by email at http://www.cmcrossroads.com/administrator/raiello@acm.org
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